Thursday, January 30, 2014

FFS Samsung - Why Do You Hate Me?

An artice on why Samsung is a steaming pile of shit

Im not sure it's the Android OS or Google that has made Samsung suck or the other way around. But in any case I just finished submitting about 6 terrible ratings for my Samsung Galaxy S4 in different sites. If i missed any feel free to write to me!

If there is something that I hate more than bad customer support, it is the idea of customer support telling you how and what to do with the device that you own and have paid for with your hard earned cash. But wait! isn't that what customer support is supposed to be there for? Well, not if they make the choices for me WITHOUT giving me the oportunity to say "...naaah, thanx ill just go ahead and continue whatever i was doing...". Enter Samsung...

A huge international conglomerate company, so successful and loving the smell of their own farts that their headquarters are based in a town called Samsung Town in Seoul! Unfortunately, that swellheaded, smug feeling of Samsung's self importance has gotten so far up their ass holes, that they have not only stopped giving any fucks what-so-ever towards their loyal customers but also trying to force them into other shitty products they believe is likely to make them even more money!

A couple of days ago, I had to factory reset my Samsung Galaxy S4 (considered as one of the best top tier Android phones on the market) because it abrruptly switched to "uselessly slow mode" after an OS version upgrade. That started my frustrations with this entire line of android devices. After the facory reset one more thing remained. I wanted to remove all the preinstalled crapware that some butthole of a person at Samsung (with an obscure profession like sales or marketing 'expert') randomly decided I may need. Here are their names with a brief description

  1. Flipboard: Your News Magazine - basically a random collection of pictures of boobs with an obscure title like "What is Kim Kardashian up to?". I mean who the fuck even cares what she is up to ?!
  2. ANT Radio Service and ANT Plugins - A program that wants me to pay for shitty music I dont listen to!
  3. Beaming Service for Beep'nGo - With a name like that, unless its a Star Trek teleportation device...i don't care!
  4. Blurb checkout - ...because fuck you!
  5. ChatON and ChatON Voice&Video - poor man's Skype
  6. Samsung Link - An app that assumes the entire galaxy uses Samsung devices
  7. Samsung Print Service - NO. I have a PC for printing

These are all apps knocked up into your Galaxy S4's phone memory, that you can't simply uninstall without telekinetic abilities to controll electronic devices or hacking the fuck out of your phone's operating system. Something which I can't do or don't give a hoot about trying respectively!

So why does a company like Samsung, which relies on customer satisfaction and brand recognition treat its loyal fans to these restrictive policies?

I could only come to one conclusion: Samsung is a crabby old cunt that would love nothing more that to see you and your loved ones suffer. It simply DOESN'T CARE. As a result, I am taking action. My next phone will be an iPhone! At least those guys advertise the fact that they butt-fuck you so you can pre-emtively ready yourself to start liking it! Plus it won't need a factory reset every Tuesday if its a rainy day!